This quote inspired me in my everyday life, and I’d love to inspire everyone with Rumi’s quote as well! 🙂
As everyone of us know, the ego is always finding ways to trick us into believing the illusions. Honestly, I am no different. Well, this is a human being’s attribute after all. We will always have the fundamental attribution error falling upon us naturally. Perceptions are always occurring in everyday lives. Hence, I’m 99.9% sure that most of us have experienced the ego creeping up on us when we’re feeling vulnerable and BAM! Ego wins.
“Yes, I will change. But, I’m not going to change if she doesn’t change!”
“Oh my goodness! I’m prettier, but she’s the one getting the hunk? WTH?!”
Has anyone of you actually experienced these circumstances before? I’m sure most of us do. So, let’s get to the point here…
Everyone of us thinks that we are smart in our own ways. We always do our very best not to either embarrass ourselves, hurt our pride, or get punished / scolded. Either way, they are still the same. We try to justify what we think is right, and what we have done is also correct. We view it in such a way that the things we do is in fact clever and socially correct. So instead of changing ourselves, we tend to look the other way (externally) and try to change the others around us.
For example, your best friend, Mandy, is a nerd. Her fashion sense is horrible. She practically looks fat in everything that she wears. One day, you’ve had enough. You went straight up to her and said, “Mandy babe, I love you but you look fat in all the clothes that you wear. Can you stop wearing all these baggy pants and sweatshirts? It’s not feminine at all, and honestly, it’s hideous…”
Yes, you were clever to let Mandy know about her weakness, her ugly fashion sense, and why you guys didn’t fit into any popular team in the school. So, you tried to change her. Truthfully… Has anyone of us ever once thought that this is more of manipulation rather than influencing? Hmm..
Anyway, this is the concept that I’ve had to deal with while I was in a reading with one of my clients. She wanted to change the situation, but she didn’t want to change herself. Yes, she accepted that her marriage was failing, and yes, she accepted the guidance that I gave to her. However, the next few questions that came from her were… “Will he change? What is he going to change? I forgave him, but he hasn’t ask for my forgiveness yet. When do you see him leaving that woman?”
I’m in the reading with her for an hour and a half, and the thing that frustrated me most was the time that I’ve spend trying to justify and coach her on needing to guide and act on herself first. I was getting annoyed, impatient, and I just felt like wanting to end the chat straight away. But, I held on and listened to her repeating the questions, the judgments and the accusations about her marriage. Finally, she ended the chat, feeling rather satisfied.
It bothered me, a whole lot. So, I explained the situation to my mom. Surprisingly, she told me that the woman acting that way was natural. Okay…? My mom isn’t a psychologist or anything, but she has indeed went through the same circumstance as the woman. So, she explained to me about the depression, impatience, hurt, and other overwhelming emotions that the woman was feeling. Slowly on, I truly understood. My perception about this client was wrong as well. I felt that this woman should change, just because she’s impatient for answers and predictions. In actual fact, I should change my perceptions towards her.
Therefore, this situation has taught me to be wiser and more compassionate towards my clients and everyone else around me. In order to change and heal the world around me, I should change myself first. Being loving, patient, compassionate, understanding, and selfless are some attributes that I’ve learnt to embrace in my life, after this incident. Love conquers everything, and this is true to such a large extent. It assures me that I am safe and protected every single time I change for the better of myself.
Well, I truly pray that this post will enlighten and inspire you about CHANGE! If you have any other interesting quotes or comments on this post that you’d like to share, please feel free to do so. I’d be most happy to hear about you and your experiences! 🙂
Much love, light, colour, peace & angel blessings to everyone ❤